2 Years ago, Anlec...

Hi! My name is Valeigra and today I begin my new life as a Black Guard. What does this mean you may ask? Well I'm not too sure myself. Wearing black and guarding things I guess. More importantly, why would anyone want to take part in a crapola war stunk up with prissy elves and dwarves?

I've always looked up to my older brother Lysanthrisia, because he lives right at the top of a Black Ark. And, being bored out of my skull by the drudgeries of your average dark elf's life, decided to pay him a visit. Plus I thought it'd be sweet to brag about around the blood cauldron.

So the boat ride over was rough! Yeah, that's the way it's gonna be. I wish I could say that was me in the armor.  One day I will get revengence! When I'm rank 40 and pimped out. In the meantime pay in advance, lesson learned.

Then came the great bit of the day where it turns out my brother is an asshole and  I can't stay with him because he has some important hoe or something he's trying to get fresh with. I don't believe that crap for a second. He's just so socially retarded he thinks that 'friends' are a tv show. I came all this way to visit him and he won't even put me up because he can't beat off with his door closed like a normal person.

So with no money to get a ship home, and no desire to board one without the fare, I shrugged massive and joined the war. Better than being bored out of your mind with nothing to do and nowhere to go right? Wrong. Turns out being a rank 1 Blackguard is a lot like being asleep, but without the funky dreams or lack of consciousness. You just run around spamming your one attack over and over and over. A lot like being a rr80 Chosen. But then I felt something building inside me... something awesome and terrible and it wasn't gas or love. It was, according to the five minutes of Donnie Darko I saw on the boat, the exact opposite of love.

IT WAS HATE! And I loved it. I hated stuff sooo much I accidentally stabbed the captain right through the chest. Oops! In all fairness though anyone who combines long hair with a high ponytail probably had it coming. Whatever. Crank up the Pantera and let the good times roll!

If you're wondering when Blackguard stop sucking, it is right on this bridge. I now have a two handed Glaive and I have the power to cut pretty much anything into two smaller, bloodier things.

 I started to really have a lot of fun. War is hilarious!

It turns out that Blackguard training had only just begun, and there were plenty of eager recruits. But without their glaives all this Dragon got was a pedicure.

 They even gave us full scenarios of KotBS (I'm already sick of typing that) to practice hating, stabbing and, to a much lesser extent, killing.

 I quickly established myself as unhelpful in class. And despite my efforts as an infantry musician I was swiftly discharged like a boil on a bilelord. But screw them! I'm rank 10 already and I can solo PQs. I don't need anybody! I've got a glaive and 100% hate. I'm gonna make tier 1 my bitch!