What's green and Orcy?

Finally a place where I can kill people without consequence! Sure Dark Elves admire the murderous streak, but they get awfully particular about the whos and the whens. Orcs are about as much fun as you can have with your panties on. I'll drink to that!

The first thing there is to know is that they flat out HATE dwarves. And who doesn't really? They are short, fat, obnoxious, rude, petty, irascible* and have huge amounts of excess hair. Basically the only people who like dwarves are those that share these traits and choose validation over self improvement.

All I really know is that they can cave your head in with rocks (in the middle of a grassy field with no rocks let alone caves) and then dance around your prone body until you die of disgust. Also Gromril Plating might need a nerf... Orc tend to attract Goblins which come in one of two flavours; those who love squigs and those who love men.

I like the queer ones, their healing rainbows go perfectly with my tanky skills.

The other ones are not so great, smelling of rotting mushroom turds and sticking their bits inside squigs. Pass.

Turns out there's giants around these parts too. I don't know if they are attracted by the Dwarves or they attract Orcs but either way it is not wise to provoke them...

Oh, I managed to make enough money for a drake-flight to t2. How you ask?

Centerfold bitches!

But this vacation has left me broke and those guild mounts are NOT cheap, so it looks like I'll be back in the ranks of the Black Guard. Perhaps this time I'll actually learn something useful? Like what exactly are we guarding and why are we all so down about it?

*look it up n00b